


Twice Twenty-Five

by anyjay



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-10 06:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/782764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyjay/pseuds/anyjay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the Oh Sam (http://ohsam.livejournal.com/) H/C Fic and Art Celebration of Sam Winchester's birthday. Apologies, this one is all H and no C.</p><p>I was trying to figure out how old Sam actually is, and I realized that Sam's 25th birthday happened twice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twice Twenty-Five

May 2, 2008

It’s Sam’s 25th birthday. Again.

The first time May 2, 2008 rolled around, Dean was dead. Had been dead for 3 months. Had died more than 100 times, usually in Sam’s arms.

On that first May 2nd, Sam ignored the date. Made his bed. Brushed his teeth. Cleaned his guns. Researched. Updated his journal. Killed a family of werewolves – two parents, two kids, four neat round bullet holes in four well-coifed blonde heads. Cleaned the gun again. Reloaded. Ignored Bobby’s phone call. Ignored the urge to drive to Sioux Falls, and beat the living shit out of Bobby for saying ‘happy birthday.’ Dean was dead. Happiness did not exist in a world where Dean was dead.

Dean was dead. Dean was dead. Dean was DEAD.

Everyday Sam woke up and Dean was dead. But all Sam had to do was keep it together, just hold on a little longer. Until he could track down the trickster. Because Sam would find the trickster and somehow, somehow, he would force him to bring Dean back.

 

Now it’s Sam’s 25th birthday again. Being 25 twice makes him 50, right? He feels like 100, he’s so fucking tired. And nobody cares that it's Sam's birthday. Sam least of all.

Dean is alive, which should be a vast improvement over last time. But Dean’s deal is almost due, and Sam still has no way to save him. And when Dean dies – if, Sam means if. If Dean dies, that’s it. Every morning when Sam wakes up, Dean will be dead. When he brushes his teeth, Dean will be dead. When he showers and gets dressed and eats his breakfast, Dean will be dead.

Forever and ever Dean will be dead, and there will be no hope left in the world.


End file.
